In Case of Emergency

This is a good week to remember that the worst you can imagine can happen in a heartbeat. Most of us don't think about what to do in a serious crisis. Jon Lee, guest blogger at large, has a recipe for preparedness.

The GO BAG

Figure 1: Gerber Metolius Survival Knife
The key to a successful survival knife can be broken down into 3 categories
1 Sturdiness - For any survival knife, you want to make sure it has a "full-tang" meaning that the knife metal runs all the way through the handle. Not to be confused with "Wu-Tang" running all through Staten Island. Also make sure that you will be able to put it through hell and back and still be in one piece.
2 Ease of Usage - Rambo might have had a big knife but you never saw him whittling wood or carving notches in a dead fall animal trap. If you can't use it for fine jobs, chuck it.
3 Ease of Maintenance - If you can't take care of your knife, it can't take care of you. Make sure your knife handle is made of a sturdy material and you are able to sharpen, hone, and maintain your knife with ease.

Figure 2: Strike anywhere matches
I keep these around when I'm too lazy to flint myself a fire or to light a camping stove. Friction will light these puppies off so if you lose the box or it falls apart you're not left in the dark.

Figure 3: AAA Batteries
Most of the electronic items in a go bag should run on one type of battery so you don't need to fumble through your whole bag to replace them. That and carrying around 3 different types of batteries can get a bit heavy. Rechargeable batteries are preferable because it's a renewable source but they are expensive.

Figure 4: First Aid Kit
First Aid and Trauma kits should be exponential, meaning if you're traveling by yourself, have enough first aid for 2, If you're traveling with 2 make sure you have enough first aid for 4 and so on. Kits should include everything you think you might need from band-aids and aspirin, to more unconventional things such as scissors and tampons that you normally wouldn't think of putting in a first aid kit.

Figure 5: Commercial Survival Kit Contains
Waterproof Matches
Fishing Line and Hooks
Duct Tape
Compass
Signaling Mirror
Survival Whistle
Survival Blanket

Figure 6: Military Bandages
Trauma Bandages for... well... Trauma.

Figure 7: Red Cross Wind Up Light/Electronics Charger
For those times when batteries aren't available. Makes way too much noise but will charge your phone battery just enough to call for help or to post on twitter. "Lost in the woods. Need Cheeseburger"

Figure 8: Swiss Army Knife
Two words, Cork Screw. It's filled with knick-knacks you never need until you need them.

Figure 9: Ointments, Salves, Sprays
Neosporin for minor cuts and scrapes, Cortizone for rashes and bumps, Bug spray to repel Llamas. Self explanatory. Use as directed.

Figure 10: Small Utility Knife
For when you don't need to pull out the big guns or as a back up to your main knife.

Figure 11:
Headlamp that runs on AAA Batteries:
Never underestimate the humble Headlamp. It's nice to have your hands free when you're doing work in the dark. Comes with three convenient dimmer settings to save battery life and a strobe function for night time signaling or spontaneous dance parties.

Figure 12:
Laser Pointers:
Useful for signaling, pointing to what you're talking about, and annoying the family pet.

Figure 13: Magnesium Bar and Flint
No this isn't some cheesy modern deco tapas bar you find in New York City. The pure magnesium you shave off this puppy will burn at upwards of 5400 Degrees Fahrenheit. Just use the flint provided on the other side to light it up. Great for starting fires in damp weather and pissing Smokey the Bear off.

Figure 14: Pen
If you find a bottle and some piece of paper...

Figure 15: Gloves
It gets rough out there and if you hurt your hands you're as good as chopped liver. These Hi Visibility work gloves will keep your hands warm and protect you from cuts and scrapes while you're trying to survive.

Figure 16: Clear Poncho
Save it for a rainy day. Doubles as a water catch for fresh rain.

Figure 17: MRE or Meal Ready To Eat
Military food that lasts long, provides major calories and tastes terrible. But don't worry, usually comes with Tabasco sauce. Stay away from the cheesy egg breakfast MRE unless you want to scare your rescuers away. Enough food for 2 for at least 2 days.

Figure 18: U.S. Army Survival Guide
Everything You Need To Know to keep you alive. Also makes for great conversation on a date like:
"Did you know grubs provide more protein than beef per pound? So if you ate 10 pounds of maggots... Hey! Where are you going!?!"

Figure 19: Sturdy Bag
If you can't carry it with you, you can't use it. Find a sturdy bag with lots of pockets and pack it yourself so you know where everything is in a emergency. Try to keep away from designer bags. Nobody ever survived Mount Everest toting a Fendi Go-Bag

Not Shown:
Water Purification Pump for fresh drinking water
Lensatic Compass to find your way
Spare Car Keys
Knife and Blade sharpener.
SOG EOD Multi-tool
Leatherman Multi-tool

Thanks for letting me guest blog!!!

One a penny, two a penny.

Hot Cross Buns



I had a tough moment a few weeks back when I couldn't give away extra cupcakes at school. The secretaries held up hands and shooed me out of the office, the principal diplomatically refused while patting his tummy and murmuring excuses, even teachers working late shook their heads vigorously claiming low-carb diets. Luckily I found a few victims. There are still those that cannot refuse home baked goods from scratch. Come on!! It's my Italian meringue buttercream for crying out loud. As I pressed on, hunting for weak and hungry denizens of the late afternoon in the elementary school, I realized that I was equally guilty. I was damn sure I wasn't bringing any extra cupcakes back to my house. So there it was. The fact is that we all love a treat made by a devoted baker, but we are all inundated with sugar, sugar, sugar and here I am the pusher.

So this year, for the kindergarten Easter celebration, I was determined not to bring grenades of sugar and fat dressed like bunnies. I turned to some research and decided on hot cross buns. The kids loved the story of how a silly queen tried to quell the popularity of the buns by only allowing them to be sold during Easter and Chistmas.
We all know that the best way to whet an appetite is to withhold the treats just a little bit.


The freshly baked yeast-leavened buns, with their hint of citrus and spice completely won over the kinderkids. I have never had a clean plate response in all my years. It's not to say I'm done with decadent desserts. I must learn to withhold a bit, just like Queen Elizabeth.

Sangria

It's finally warm enough to get into some sangria.







My Sangria Recipe:
Step one is to secure a designated driver! It goes down smooth but packs a big punch.

1/4 c fresh lemon juice
1/3 c orange juice
1/2 c simple syrup
1/2 c Poire William
1/2 c dark rum
1 bottle dry red or white wine
1 lemon cut into rounds
1 lime cut into rounds
1 orange cut into rounds
1 apple cut into half moons
20 maraschino cherries (reserve syrup)

Let marinate.

Add 2 cups club soda just before serving. Add splashes of maraschino cherry syrup to sweeten to taste.

We've tried this recipe with both red and white wine. We intend to continue to make lots in the future to keep the debate alive about which tastes better.

Add a lot of ice before serving. This recipe is intentionally strong to compensate for all the ice you should add. You ARE serving it outside on a sunny day, yes?

Last day of Chess Club

I'm rather proud of my bunch for sticking through chess this year. My kids are awesome at a lot of things, but chess is not one of them. It's just as important to learn how to lose gracefully as it is to learn how to win. Most importantly, we have a learned to fight through something challenging. While I am just starting to see glimmers of strategy and the ability to hold your ground mentally in my kids, the season ends. We head back to our comfort zone on the court, in the kitchen, across the ice, and on the field, but we have learned to try something new and have learned to grow strong in the shadow of defeats.

A wish to be a cake designer...

If I were to write a series of picture books about an indomitable little girl with a penchant for purple tulle and pink organza, the heroine would have to be none other than Sydney Lane. Equal parts Pippi Longstocking and Eloise, I will be proud to say I knew her before she was famous. Never one to shy from an adventure, the birthday girl wanted to try her hand at cake design. The result is delightful. If only it were not so fleeting--this firm grasp of whimsy all little girls possess.

Leprechauns Visit

Each year, during the days leading up to St. Patrick's Day, our local leprechauns visit us often. The mischievous visitors play a lot of pranks on us. Usually they start with simple little green pranks. They like to turn milk green, resulting in delighted squeals from the children, as the green liquid pours out of the carton at breakfast. More green food surprises ensue, green applesauce in lunch boxes, and green juice at snack. Finally they run through the house dropping little gifts off for my Irish lass and laddie. I like to plan their visits when the kids are engrossed in something in another room. Then I scream and yell and make a lot of foot stomping noises and slam doors. "You guys!!! Come quick!!! A leprechaun is in the house!!" Just be prepared to field a hundred questions about what leprechauns look like.

Leprechaun footprints: Use washable brown paint.

Ignore the Groundhog

I love to start spring early by forcing branches. First forsythia, then I'll move on to apple next week.